Mortal Combat With Animals

Khris Speaks

Volume LVI

08/15/2012

I couldn’t sleep last night and in the early morning hours, I chose to consume some Benadryl. After an hour or so, I still wasn’t drowsy. Somewhere in the early morning hours, just before dawn, I must have drifted off. I dreamt I was to fight, choke and kill a cat. This ended up not being a dream, but a dream-memory. I was in a room with a large cat, possibly a tom. The cat was was a striped tabby; I estimate the cat to be approximately fifteen to twenty pounds. I reached out and gripped the cat by the throat and it of course started to growl and resist. The cat wrapped its legs around my arms and we entered into mortal-combat. To prevent scratches and being bitten, I pulled the cat closer and rolled my body on top of the now irate feline. I pressed down with all my weight and in a dual-effort to destroy my four-legged enemy, I applied all my body weight to its ribs to compress the cat’s lungs. This strategy appeared to be effective. I would choke the cat at his throat and apply my weight to his ribs. I must have been a small child as the cat was quite a formidable opponent. The dream was so unpleasant, I forced myself conscious. While I rested in bed, my eyes open, my heart pounding, I still heard the sounds of the growling and dying cat. I could still feel the cat in my grips. I could feel his lunging and jerking. I could feel the cat, but when I looked at my arms, there was nothing there.  I’ve relived torture like this many times, but this was just as disturbing. I took me fifteen minutes to get the adrenaline effects under control. I had to ask myself, what were the consequences of not defeating the cat? I know I don’t want to know.

Khris
TEST TE

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18 comments

  1. JenL

    Khris- A really awful double bind. You- all of you here- are such incredibly brave souls. Thanks for your blog-they haven’t silenced you. I love animals and children, and the grotesque things these people do to both is disturbing. Stay strong, be well.

  2. cypherfound

    Pollyann, I sit here smiling! I will rewind a bit first. The attack was not about horrific memories…although I believe they attempted to trigger those memories to disable me further. This was an all out physical pain attack coming from multiple directions. Every part of my body was onslaughted with agony. Over the top head pain…neck…spine. Literally, head to toe. Itching even. It was torture. They wanted me to ‘surrender’…the only way I can put it. These would be, rather, beneficial memories I was discovering. (Nites prior to this I have been targeted and with visitation that I fought back…actually followed back to the source screaming ‘Wake Up, they do this to you also’…again this particular nite was an all out onslaught) Early yesterday, your shielding hug gave me the grace and protection I needed to not surrender but to pick up my own staff and shield! Although I was able to physically get basic necessities done yesterday, I was absolutely battered. Blurred vision…my balance was off…body aches. Now…last nite, other than some leg cramps, I slept like a baby! I woke refreshed! MOST Excellant Pollyann! I do hope that feedback brings a smile and more encouragement to your gifts and abilities. Most of all to your heart.

    This attack comes off sounding like grandiosity on my part. This isn’t just about me. I believe this ‘past life’ is about others connected to ‘her’ through shared living experienced in the past, also to literal genetic offspring from her. Also, bonding through trauma. I have a tremendous sense there are others who are at present attempting ( and with various levels of success and memory) to unravel this self same ‘attachment with her’ as well. I see it as dominos lined up…as in one goes down, the rest do. Allowing a major piece of this puzzle to intersect and heal. I see some of these individual ‘dominos’ shaking due to their own and shared fight…this would account for the fear in the nazi’s. I just re-read this paragraph…sounds insane…ill written. They are using these past lives of ours though…and in a Major way. It isn’t ‘karma’ but it’s all about ‘control’ and going back to the ‘strongest’ in our lineage. I have an overwhelming sense I am ‘her’ and also ‘her offspring’.

    Interestingly, I realized this morning she has a connection to nature as in, animal instinct. How animals flee a tsunami…or an earthquake…prior to onset? Also, communication with animals and with the earth. Look at the trauma the sadists put us through to dis-rupt, confuse, and control our ancient connection to nature. Not only animals, but the elements of nature itself. It is no coincidence the timing of Khris’ post topic.

    It’s SO ok that Khris is quiet, Pollyann. I have found ‘aloneness/quiet’ to be my best friend and helper…an absolute necessity to get through this. I have attempted in the past to connect with others and have encountered ‘controllers’ and battering as a result. Sometimes I wonder how they used us to harm one another as a means to keep us alienated and in a fight or flight mode with each other. I have a flood of guilt that accompanies part of my recognition of Miranda Kelly…which brings me to tears every time. A flash of her as a child. Your ‘hug’, your Major hug has been a breath of fresh life as far as my trust issues. I do have my husband. Of course they attempt to manipulate our relationship…but…we go waaay back. I’m not going anywhere…not going to disappear! I certainly have zero desire to be visable center stage…but they wanted a warrior, they got one. The nazis pushed me far too far…my children…others children…

    I accept your gracious offer of friendship with deep gratitude, Pollyann.

    • pollyann

      Cypherfound, Thanks for the wonderful feedback, I really appreciate it!! You gave some really good realizations, especially about the trauma-bonding (just imagine the spaghetti mess of energy cords with various people from lifetime to lifetime – ugh!!) and how our earth connections have been disrupted to keep us from being in full-strength mode on planet. 😉 You can call me Polly if you like. I couldn’t use just Polly when I opened my WordPress account. The software would not accept it so I combined my first and middle names. Anyway, it’s really nice to meet you!

      • cypherfound

        Thanks Polly!! It’s nice to meet you too! You can call me Cyph. Even though ‘they’ know who I am, sticking with Cyph in efforts to protect a few others as much as possible. I know!…what a mess hey?! Yet, I believe it is not at all impossible. Again picture the dominos…one of those massive and intricate set-ups. Or, like a contagious virus. I do believe they used us literally also to affect the earth’s energies. We can claim that back. Like I said they pushed toooo far. They ripped my heart out…so to speak. Ever see the movie Boudica Warrior Queen? She is tortured with a whipping while her daughters, in front of her, are ganged raped by the Romans. Before that, she was just a defeated Queen Boudica. I am so past ‘ugh’…I like your !!! after it!

  3. cypherfound

    I am new here. I’ve had great difficulty gathering my thoughts concerning your dream/memory Khris. Very triggering…so it has taken me a while to determine to leave my thoughts on this.

    The sadists do bond us with animal/pets also. Their attempts to break our human spirit is inclusive of the deep caring we are capable of…then…the double bind. Splitting and shattering our hearts. I’m reminded of the movie ‘Sophie’s Choice’. Where the mother is left with the commanded horror of choosing which of her two children will be exterminated in the Nazi Camp.

    I am unable to ‘allow’ myself to get too close to a family pet. As example…my beloved dog was hit by a car. Witnesses expressed to me that the driver ‘went for’ him. Another was my bird. I returned home one day and he was lying on the floor of his cage. His neck was twisted. As a child, I remember being ‘afraid’ of dogs. I have since realized that this ‘fear’ is not so much my being afraid of the dog, but the fear of a love relationship with the dog.

    Khris, what completely stands out to me here is this…You could have come up with all sorts of excuses to avoid not taking your friend and their cat for help. You could have even offered numerous options to solve this dilemma for your friend. The alter of your dream/memory would have prompted/nagged you to do so? You did not. You stepped in with your heart. Regardless of what these sadists attempt to do to break our human spirit…our deep caring…our love…they fail.

    Not only do they fail, but they do so miserably fail. They wanted frankinstein. They got a man who doesn’t hesitate to take his friend and their cat for help. They got a man who writes a blog from his heart. A man who touches the wounded and helps to heal their broken pieces.

      • cypherfound

        Pollyann, my saying thank you is inadequate. The past few days I have been connecting long standing and isolated dots leading to a past life being used by these nazis. A key player they wish to continue to control. Last nite I encountered attacks that broke the 1 to 10 scale, and by early morning I was wallowing in the shallows of defeat, barely hanging on. Almost imperceptable whispers from intuition led me to come here…and…I found myself washed with the pure intent of your kindness. There are hugs of the ditz sort, and then there are ‘hugs’ morphing into a shield. I can only bow my head to you in honor as a warrior and filled with gratitude.

        • pollyann

          Excellent feedback, cypherfound!! I am thrilled! Please don’t disappear. It is wonderful that you are connecting dots but it also painful as hell. It’s worth it though. I believe in you. You will find friends here who know what it’s like. I’m trying to roust Khris. He’s been quiet for a while. Major, big, pure, shielding hugs to you!! 🙂

  4. myveryownchoice

    Do you know if there’s some sort of feline programming involved upon you? Wish you well in your recovery.

    • clandestine rage revealed

      Hi Polly,

      It’s good to hear from you. I miss you!

      The only thing I can think of is I’ve had to take a friend and her cat to the vet twice this past week. I was the taxi and she kept her cat calm while I drove. The cat needed to be cut open, a tube inserted for drainage from an attack by another cat; now the cat has to have staples pulled today. It’s possible this injured cat and me helping her transport was the trigger. That is the only thing I can think of.

      Khris

      ________________________________

      • pollyann

        Khris, more than likely the soul of the cat in your dream/memory became attached to you and is a part of you as is. If possible can you heal it and release it??

      • Caroline K.

        It’s interesting what Polly says because I think animals can attach themselves to you depending on experiences. That makes sense for sure. I bet Annalie would have some great suggestions for a ceremony to release this cat from you. Seems like you both need healing: the child in you and the cat. It was beyond both of you to prevent what happened. Polly probably knows a way, too. He’s probably stuck so he could use a little boost to go on his way. Man, he was a big cat, too: 15-20 pounds is a big cat, but there are 40 pounders, too, that are domestics. Buster was 12 pounds and he was a big boy, and being a Tom he was a HUGE challenge. Buster was declawed, and I still didn’t mess with him when he was on a roll. Oh, I think Miracles and Light did something powerful to release her beautiful wolf.

        I had that same thing happen to my cat that your friend did that you drove to the vet. Hang in there Khris. I send heart love to the child within you and the cat entity, too. Well, the good thing is that it is out in the air so it can be healed.

        • pollyann

          Thank you for acknowledging me, Caroline. 🙂 Khris has magnificent heart energy and he is only the second man I have ever told that to. [Hint] That kind of heart energy is meant for healing whatever is in need of healing.

  5. balanceenergies

    i really hate those heart pounding, adrenaline rushing horrid dreams you come out of–but are still part way in for quite some time…those are hard to shake and can last for hours for me sometimes….doesn’t happen much any more, thank goodness….perhaps tonight you will have a wonderful flying dream or whatever is nice for you.

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