Forward: There are two acronyms used in this blog-post. One is DID and the other is MPD. DID is defined as Dissociative Identity Disorder; MPD is defined as Multiple Personality Disorder.
I’m offering my testimony tonight to any persons, clinical or private, interested in the study of Dissociative Identity Disorder. I will offer my best explanation of my experiences as I understand them. I feel I have some potentially useful insights into DID and MPD. I offer this testimony as an aid for those interested in a deeper understanding to an already controversial subject matter.
Note: My testimony tonight is about non-programmed alters.
I wish to declare, from my own study, not all people suffering from DID/MPD have programmed alters. Those who’ve been sexually abused, severely traumatized, homeless and a myriad of other circumstances and conditions can cause a person to develop DID/MPD. This is becoming a mental-health nightmare for many families and individuals alike. My own study on DID had caused me some deep concern. There seems to be a deep divide in the psychiatric community about the reality of DID/MPD; some have gone as far as to say DID doesn’t exist.
I am a programmed-multiple, an abductee of the military industrial complex. I was unlawfully removed from my home as a child and placed in a secret program, commonly referred to as MK-Ultra. Around the ago of 5 to 6-years-old, I was stripped naked, placed in a chair and restrained. Needles were stuck deep into the pads of my small fingers; a device designed to deliver electrical current was connected to the needles in my fingers. A person commonly referred to as a programmer, turned the device on and delivered an electrical shock to my body through my fingers. At first, the shock was a steady amount of electricity which caused my young fingers and hands to burn. Next, the device started to send electrical pulses which caused severe pain to surge up my arms into my body. At the same time, somebody grabbed my testicles and began to squeeze them causing even more pain. At some point in this process, the torture became more than I could bear and my personality fractured. Once my personality fractured, the programmer had a clean palette, a blank slate, so to speak. That clean palette could then be molded and programmed in any manner my programmer deemed appropriate. This same process was repeated more than once as I have many alters which are known to me and certainly there are many more not known to me.
It is my belief, through years of experience, I have alters which were not programmed. I can only estimate this was done to place distance between alters which were programmed. My theory on this is as follows: An alter is created; the alter is programmed and trained. In order to prevent one alter from leaking or bleeding into another, the programmer will cause severe pain through torture and once again split the subject’s personality off creating another alter. This new alter will create a barrier or spacing between another alter already programmed. Logically, if you have one alter, programmed to be a military-type unit and the next alter is programmed for ceremonial purposes, you can’t risk one alter contaminating another. Think about the implications. Hypothetically speaking, you are in a helicopter with 10 programmed military-units. Something said triggers you from your military alter into a ceremonial alter. Instantly you begin speaking Latin. Next, you pull your service knife and attempt to cut out the hearts of your comrades on the helicopter. This scenario could jeopardize so many things, that it’s almost scary: Millions of dollars of military hardware could be ruined on-the-instant. Years worth of training and programming at the cost of millions of dollars could get wasted. Assets that cannot be replaced, not reasonably, could set back clandestine operations and risk the lives of civilians. Secret operations could be jeopardized and enemy forces could learn secrets which would cause even more losses and setbacks.
The reason I asked you to humor me on the non-programmed alter is as follows: Many, many times, I awaken in the middle of the night. I sit up in bed. As I look around the room, I do not recognize my surroundings. I do not know my name; I don’t even know if I have a name. I understand basic language construct. I can identify, barely, objects in my room. I know nothing about time, nothing about societal-structure. I don’t know or understand days of the week or a calendar system. I know nothing about the world around me. I do not know there is a president or there is even supposed to be one. I have no memories. I have no knowledge about parents, or if I have any. Everything is foreign to me. I will start to shake and panic. Some part of me knows I should know things. Some aspect of my consciousness knows there is something missing, but I cannot seem to reconcile what is happening. This is terrifying to experience once, let alone the sheer number of times I’ve went through this. Eventually I start to remember, begin to recognize my surroundings and slowly re-connect to my birth personality.