Volume VII


WARNING: Graphic Violence against Children Detailed Below!

NOTE: I’m a Survivor and NOT a Victim! I Refuse to be “their” Victim!

In this post, I’m going to once again get very graphic and explicit about waking up to being a military abductee and all the fixings and trimmings. I’ve been having unusual symptoms since around 2005. I started having panic attacks in my sleep and fits of rage out of the blue. I will detail this more in a later post.

In October of this year, 2011, I had a dream and unfortunately it was not Martin Luther King’s type of dream. It took me a few days to realize the dream was a memory and I had watched the whole thing on a screen! In the dream I was on a military base. I believe it was in Georgia. I can’t confirm, but I’ve driven through Georgia before and the energy was the same. I was standing next to a building above ground and next to me was a guy I’ve know for about ten years and respect. He was my guide in this drama. All of a sudden about twenty young boys started to run up the sidewalk towards this building I was looking at. I cannot retrieve what the children came out of, but I think it was some type of military vehicle. My peripheral vision was blocked to the general direction the children and gunmen came from.

As the children ran towards the facility, I noticed they were all in Spider Man pajamas or costumes. Their feet were covered with the costume but not their heads and faces. One of the children, the youngest was in a green costume, but I’m not sure which super hero he was supposed to be. The children were all Caucasian and were about six to eight years old. The child in the green pajamas was a toddler, not even four years old I suspected. All of the children had guns in their hands and they could discharge some type of round pellet. The guns had the allusion they were real, but they did not shoot ordinance.

It was my impression the children were being corral-ed into this building for some type of party or event. They were instructed to proceed up the walkway and enter the door. When they arrived at the door, it was locked. As a group they all turned in unison to inquire about the locked door.

As the children turned around, automatic machine guns open fired on all of the children simultaneously. In the dream, my heart sank. The shock, the horror, the sheer dishonor to God was appalling; I could hardly stand up. The rounds began to pierce the small bodies of the children. They began to fall like dominoes. Tissue, blood etc. was spattering all over the wall of the facility behind them. I saw a portion of one the little boys arm get blown off and another was hit in the chest, abdomen and throat. His arterial blood hit the wall of the building. I remember seeing this in the emergency room when I was eighteen years old. The E.R. staff started a “central line” on an elderly woman with congestive heart failure. The arterial blood spray of the child was exactly the same. The next scene took me days to recover from. The little boy in the green pajamas was slumped over dead into the arms of one of the other boys. The boy holding the dead toddler looked up and with a fraction of his remaining life force and breath, smiled and gently waved goodbye to the people shooting him or somebody standing next to them. He then laid his little head down and was gone. I realized at that moment, before he died, he must have been in severe shock and didn’t even realize how bad the situation or his injuries were. I thought to myself, what an angel. He was lying there, blood draining out of him with a dead toddler in his arms and in that last moment, he had enough peace to wave goodbye. That moment will probably haunt me forever.

I looked over my shoulder to the guy standing next to me. I know him in my life as a former marine reservist who served in either Iraq or Afghanistan. I started fuming and cussing! Rage was mine! To paraphrase, I demanded to know what the fuck was happening. I said how the fuck can you just desecrate these children. I screamed and screamed. My guide informed me, that “We just follow orders.” “We don’t ask questions, we just follow orders.” I began to rage even more and asked how can you fucking follow orders? He repeated again, “We just follow orders!” “We don’t ask questions!” He said, “You’ll eventually understand!” I finally said, O.K., so you followed orders, but I want fucking answers as to why they were shot! I want some fucking answers! I had vengeance on my mind! I did not know the names of these beautiful young boys, but all I know is they were like sons to me. I may never know the full reality of their relationship to me or even if there was one?

The guide informed me the children were part a secret government program. He said their program was different than any of the others before it. He said these children would be trained and eventually imbedded with soldiers in the future. He notified me the program they were in was terminated and that was why they were being shot. Again, I argued as to why it had to end in this matter and he stated, once again, “They just follow orders.”

Next, I was taken to another building that was a cafeteria. It was a very sterile cafeteria and it had a military vibe to it. The people in the cafeteria appeared to be in trances or programmed in some way. They ate and only ate. Nobody talked or looked around; they were only focused on eating. The cafeteria was all in white. The counters, floors etc and uniforms the people wore were white.

A man in white clothing approached me and the guide. This man looked into my eyes and said, “You just need to get over it!” This comment was in reference to the children being killed. It was at this point, I saw RED! I totally lost it and punched the guy about four times in the head before I struck him in the gut and did a roundhouse kick to his leg. The man dropped to one knee and then was back up in three seconds. This guy was tough!

After the fight, another man, similar in body composition to a Navy Seal, with huge legs, arms and neck stepped into the area. He told my guide we should leave for now. He said this isn’t the right time and we’d do this later. Before we turned to leave the cafeteria, I grabbed a plant and tossed it as hard as I could. The plant and pot shattered on a table where people were eating. The people, the programmed people, did not even bat an eye! They were eating the food off the table with potting soil etc. I couldn’t believe it! The guide walked me out and I woke up.

I dedicate this posting to Duncan and Miranda. I put this dream on my YouTube channel. I was not going to use their names as tags etc. My inner “voice” demanded I use them as a reference. I argued with myself and said they don’t know me. They have enough going on in their lives without me interrupting. My internal voice told me once again to mention them and I did.

A few weeks later, more info had starting coming out. I decided to email Duncan and Miranda. I was extremely nervous, but my internal voice once again told me this was the right thing to do. I thought they would ignore me, just blow me off. I got a response from them and it made all the difference. I knew by this time, what I was experiencing was real. It was time to wake up. Oh, the process is miserable, but it must be done.



  1. hannah ferraz

    you poor little things my heart really goes out to all human beings who have had to go through this horrible unspeakable childhood and life even though i have never had to endure the horrors that you have had to endure i can still sympathize with you i thought i had a hard life hah i have a new appreciation of my life please know that the only reason i am of a relatively sound mind is because of my faith know that i am praying for you all every night and there is power and strenghth in prayer and the blood of Jesus he can overide any program no matter how complex it is all you need to do is call on his name it works and i am bringing your cause every night to the throne of grace the throne of God! Please believe me when i say that it might not seem so now but God sees everything that they do and He is a just God they will not get away with this they will be punished for everything that they have done if they have told you that God gave up on you or He has forsaken you they tell you that so you will never turn to Him don t believe them they know that if you call on His name and believe that He can help you He will intervene in your life and then they will have no control over you and that means that God will send the Holy Spirit into the control systems in your mind and He will overide all suicide programing that was installed ect That also means that if memories start coming back to you he will allow some of them to come back but He will be in control of the type of memory and the intensity and know that everything that He does for you will be with your best interest at heart that includes allowing some of the memories to surface but with some of the edge taken off them so please take care and know that i believe you and you are loved and prayed for!

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  5. syd aka cat

    taking a couch day today ! and the movie has keanu reaves, woody harrelson, robert downy jr, winona ryder….etc……………done in a sort of animation way…i don’t really know what to call it………….going to watch it again later………thanks for being here and listening …………i feel like i ran a marathon…i know my brain did and it is connected to the body…..(altho sometimes it doesn’t feel like it !) ..the best to you

  6. syd aka cat

    please, if you wouldnt mind (forget the effen grammer..please..i know how.. this is easier_) and i sit in the dark…so it is hard to do keyboard successsfuly..altho my dad was a major grammer perfector…o ya….ok, i am gonna get personal…and please be honest ..please…what do you do? do you work? not trying to pin you…just have to know…..i am tired and retired but by the gods i am still a major force for this fight…i know this…that is why i am here……….ya, i understand the angry killer thing…omg..if someone comes in my door and it is them or me…… IS going to be them….and speaking of hospitals…last time i was in, the psych dr came in and said…………………o you have been waiting for me…..NOT…i was in there for other non essential shit………………………….i have so much to say, i really do not know where or if i should start… ok? have you seen ……………………………..a scanner darkly ?..just started it….. i am seriously stopping to fit in to this shit of everyday life…but not entirely sure of the alernatives…………….many of them…………. would like to go home to different physics and paradigims… but that will come in time i guess……cat….and thanks for communicating with me…i really treasure honesty and i feel it in you………………………….

    • clandestine rage revealed

      Hi Cat,

      Don’t worry about the grammar. I get a little too deep into it. I sometimes spend two hours editing a big post. So you just do what you need to do with typing and grammar. No judgements will be passed on my end.

      I wish I was retired, but I am self employed. I do commercial cleaning and I love it.

      I sleep with the Desert Eagle 45 in my bed and have done so for many years. I agree with you 100%. If somebody comes to the door to do harm, they’re mom will be getting a call from the county! Like Duncan said in the interview with Randy Maugans, get used to and comfortable with taking a life because we won’t have a choice in the near future.

      i have heard of the movie you mentioned. I have not watched it. I believe it was an Alex Jones movie?

      Yes, I’m very honest and straight forward. I’ll tackle issues and problems other people will not go near. I can be quite the bull or ram at certain times.


      • syd aka cat

        hey listen…that’s all i ask is honesty………………..if not, well–i try not to go there..and i will sniff it out…the movie is pretty profound…gotta watch it again…

  7. clandestine rage revealed

    Hello Cat!

    You can write me anytime. I have the time to talk, so it helps me a lot too!
    I never really have friends either. I don’t connect, so it’s very difficult for me to have healthy friendships. I just made friends two years ago with a woman that is 60. We are the same in many ways. This has done tremendous things for me. I like Randy Maugans and appreciate his efforts.

    Hospital work can be rewarding, but I feel there is a deeper reason why you are there. My life since childhood had many strange things going on and I was hospitalized at 9 years old in a children’s psych ward. I will write about this in the future. When I was in the hospital they were trying to get me to do a lot of testing and IQ stuff. I refused the IQ test and played with the pencil. When there was about 20 minutes left, the lady screamed at me and I managed an 84. I figure that wasn’t bad considering I had only twenty minutes to do an hour long test.

    I never enlisted in the ‘forces’ as you say. I do have dreams of killing people and the most profound martial arts action I’ve ever seen. In my 20’s, I used to day dream about being a sniper. I had a black uniform and I would be called out mostly at night to kill people. That used to bother me and I never had an outward desire to kill people or be a sniper. I was terrified of military stuff as a child and teen and I now know why. I have a military alter that hates everybody and military terms come out of my mouth sometimes.

    Write me anytime, and I’ll get back to you as I can!


  8. syd aka cat

    i don’t know where else to put this…so here it is….i feel a need to tell you a bit about me……..63 yrs young…..been in and worked on the psych ward….no friends until 4 yrs ago….she just did a show not long ago with randy maugans…she gets me…..i get her……i came way close to walking in front of a semi on a busy main hwy in my home town……….and had an incoming thought———there is something very important you are here for….i didn’t know what it was then…but listened…must have been 11 or 12…..sexual, physical, emotional abuse……worked in hospitals for yrs….mostly children, intensive care nursery and the psych ward…chaotic childhood to say the least, chaotic marriage…..lots and lots of what most people would consider very strange (as in to be committed time) stuff….i am presuming you did time in the forces………please don’t let me overstep my boundaries …i am an extremely need to know person…very seriously so…just me…and you can seriously say anything and i will not be offended….i just will not be……ever…………….do you have memories of lives somewhere else or another time……………….that’s what i meant by being shot in the head….civil war stuff….was excellerated 2 yrs in a row (2 grades in one yr)….they tried to do the mensa thing with me….and all the iq tests…i finally had enough of those and said…NO MORE tests…and i was taken to a university for an evaluation or whatever…and told i was a paranoid person….never did know what they told my sister……so, thankyou for listening….i feel safe here…and thanks for that….this is a great release for me…

    • clandestine rage revealed

      Yes, I was in the civil war. I forgot to mention that. I was in a gray uniform but reported to the north. I was a Union soldier masquerading as a Southern. I got a medal for my service. I can’t talk too much about the civil war as it is very emotional for me. We are about to go to civil war again in this country.

  9. syd aka cat

    that is a sob of a painful experience i just read…
    i used to have one about trying to avoid part of a lab or hospital or whatever…………and always seemed to end up having to walk thru it…….omg, it was gruesome…huge vats of blood and blood on the floor………god i hated ending up there…………………………when i was a kid, my dad had project bluebook stuff….don’t know where he got it from…he did work for the gov’t…as a painter……….and my mom and dad’s house was full top to bottom with books….of all sorts……….some strange shit happened ….always has…..just seems normal to me now………………but they are not going to get me……..they try sex, drugs, rock and roll…..and are very successful at it………………i am irish, scottish and english…with green eyes………….i have so much to say i just don’t know where to start……….i am so glad i can say things without being too nervous………………thanks for listening khris… well…………………………

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